I judge you by your toilet habits

I was recently asked to profile the decision-making structure as is applies to my current corporate environment. I relayed how the anal-retentive people, whom I call folders (after their toilet paper wiping protocol) were in charge at the center of it all. Those others who could fold at least some of the time, could also wield power on occasion. Bunchers, on the other hand, are for managing. They’re like a Rumba. They go all over the place in every direction and we love them. But we don’t want them outside of the house.

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Fabulous peers then asked some reflection questions. I was asked to reflect on my place and how I might effect change. Is there a successful formula for it? What are the decision-makers priorities? How would I like decision to be made? And many other great questions. This was going to go quickly because, if I can make a case for it, I can have just about anything I want. In fact, I often don’t even have to make a case for it.

As I settled down to make notes on how I might respond to these questions I looked at one and said “Eech” and moved on to the next not writing down any notes around it. Lucky for me, I’m obsessed with self-reflection and know that any time I feel negative about something that’s inherently neutral, or even positive, there’s work to be done.

The fabulous @daniellebutin asked how the central core of folders were “establishing areas for stabilization, prior to growth, and how can they better enlist the intelligence and creativity of the “bunchers” …they seem untapped and vital in this process.”

This was not the first time I “eech-ed” this statement. Upon recalling my various reactions, I though it important to shine the light on my completely biased judgmental comments:

· OMG, no! Don’t bring them into the process, nothing will get done!

· They never have good ideas! They just bring in fairy tales.

· What good is intelligence and creativity without discipline?

· They would eat the marshmallow and then talk the next kid into giving his up and then fake a hypoglycemic episode to get the experimenter to part with a third one.

I am prejudiced against bunchers. Even though I’m half buncher myself. And I only seem to date bunchers (possibly part of my issue). I only like my buncher side because it’s complimented by my folder side and more often than not, I wish I were ¾ folder. If I were all buncher, I’m afraid I wouldn’t like myself.

This is horrible foul prejudice and could easily spread into some crazy bias around what side people part their hair on or thongs vs full coverage. Seriously though, I’m biased against these people and I plan to work on it. I’ve recently been asked to work with one of them and before agreeing to, asked for all kinds of support against his buncher-ness.

I do not regret asking for the support. I think it’s wise. But it was basically a list in my head of how to protect myself from all the bad things this buncher was going to put me through.

I am okay keeping my protection list, but I feel I must balance it with some thoughts about what wonderful things this person will likely bring into my life. I will be inspired by Danielle and challenge myself to be on the lookout for their intelligence and creativity. I will stay connected to my insides and be on the lookout for the rise of my bias. Each time I find it, I will immediately look to challenge it. I will stomp it out by letting go of my attachment to folding as the answer and see what good answers bunching can provide.

Perhaps there is something to be said for eating the marshmallow.

Productivity/mastermind nerd, coach in Seth Godin’s Akimbo community, inbound digital marketer, former mental health professional, Hasher & Airbnb owner.

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